Back again?

A few know I have taken this school year off from ministry because I have had some very serious doubts about the basic truths of modern Christianity. Some of those with whom I have discussed this know that I am not reacting to hypocritical Christians, although there are plenty of those around me. It is also true that I am not swayed by the problem of evil, though it is a reality. The simplest version of why I "left" the faith is that I lost the sense that it was true. It is very important for those who care about apologetics to realize that any belief in the Christian god must be "presuppositional" in that the individual must first choose to believe that there is an all-powerful God of the Christian type. The Christian scriptures declare that God can be seen in nature, but in reality scientific observation will not reveal the presence of God unless one already acknowledges the presence of God. The athiest sees a beautiful sunrise and sees an amazing interaction between gravity, gasses, and light while the Christian sees the same, thinking that God somehow planned this interaction. Belief in God does not guide the proper observation of the sunset, but this belief allows the Christian to give the interaction unobservable meaning. "The heavens declare the glory of God", but only to those who are willing to believe.

So what can explain the difference between the athiest and the Christian observing a sunset? The best answer is the effect of a strong desire to see God that exists in the mind of the Christian. The nonchristian often believes the Christian's desire to see God comes from a need to belong to a specific group or the desire to claim special knowledge, but a Christian will probably cite the effect of the awakening of the Holy Spirit in his "heart" to explain how he can see God working around him. This is where I felt like I "lost" God. I lost the sense of this "awakening" by the Holy Spirit so that I did not have the intuitive sense that He was there. When I tried to "find" God, the logic of it all evaded me, and so I decided to let God pull me back to him if he existed. 

I now have the sense that this is beginning to occur. I am in the early stages, but I began praying again this week. For the sake of understanding what is going on I am going to document my progress, and I welcome comments as encouragement or challenges to rethink what I write. Those who have been praying for me I thank you.

This past weekend

On Saturday, February 11th, Josh and Joshua ran their first 5K during the Mercedes Marathon.  They seemed to enjoy it, though it was VERY cold.  We even had some snow flurries.  They did a great job!

After their race, we went to Boutwell Auditorium and hung out for an hour and a half or so until the girl's races' were to start.  They ran in the Kid's marathon.  Each year, the kindergarteners through the 5th graders run the first 25.2 miles at school and the final mile, they run downtown.  They get a medal at the finish line.  They love running in it!

                                                                                                                                                         
   I was VERY proud of my runners! :-)

February

Well, it has been quite a while since I last posted.  We have been busy with life.  The kids are busy, busy with school and I can't believe that they are over halfway done with this school year.
Joshua has been doing very well in 6th grade at his new school.  He is enjoying playing the trombone in the band and Friday got first chair in the trombones and was very excited about that. Though it saddens him, and me, he has decided to take this season off of soccer.  I think it will work out for the best,but he is going to miss it.  It will be nice not to have soccer practice two nights a week and Saturday games for the next couple months though!
Abby is enjoying her 5th grade year at school.  She LOVES her teacher this year, so that is really nice.  In December she was in the Nutcracker and loved that.  She is busy with her ballet two afternoons a week, and still loves it. 
Sarah is learning a lot in 3rd grade and is busy learning her multiplication facts.  She is doing great with them.  She is also in the Catechism class at church and is busy learning all 150 catechisms.  They are over halfway there.  She is doing great with it, but I think she will be very glad when she is done. :-)  She is also busy with her clogging and really loves it.  There are a lot of times we are walking in the grocery store or somewhere and she is clogging away while she walks along with us. 
We have had a very mild winter this year, so the last couple days have been a shock to our systems. :-)  It has gotten very cold.  I am looking forward to the weather warming up and planting a bunch of flowers on our porch again! 
Just wanted to give a quick update.  Hopefully I will update again soon with some pictures from this weekend.